Week 6: Monday

She's home!  It feels so good to have her home again.  When I walked through the door, she was laying on the floor with her playful grin.   David was changing her diaper and she was busy trying to make the great escape.  Somethings never change. :)
Today was a crazy day of anticipation and anxiety. David relieved me at the hospital at 4:30 and I went straight home.  I was home by 6am and got ready for work. I was hoping and wishing for a lot of things.  I wondered as to whether she would be discharged today or transferred to CNMC.  I wanted nothing more than to have her home but knew it would be a slight chance.   I called before work and during lunch.  David text me any updates.  The one I received before lunch didn't make me happy entirely.  He told me first that they would be getting discharged by afternoon.  This was all contingent on whether she would be able to continue hydration on her own.  The next text said that her chemo treatment for this week would be cancelled and pushed back a week.  I was not happy with this.  Once again, I was fighting with the control factor.  This was something that was out of my hands and in Jasmine's best interest.  I could not contain my frustration with it though.  I wanted to blame something or someone for it.  I partially blame myself for this because I was starting to come down with something myself and nearly did my usual.  I didn't take any additional precautions other than the usual hand washing, lysol spraying and hand sanitizer.  Now  everything was going to be offset by the change in schedule.  My first thought was its going to be a bad Christmas.  I really didn't care about thanksgiving as much as I did about Jasmine's Christmas. The second thought was the pressure it would create at work.  Everyone had been covering for me and now it would interfere with the holiday schedule.   I hate complicating things for others.  I rather bare the burden of any complication so that others didn't have to.  I have always tried to be considerate of others even the though it sometimes resulted in more trouble for myself.  By the end of lunch, I was not feeling so great.  I had forgotten my lunch but remembered my lunch bag and snack. I was frustrated with it all.  
By the end of the day, I received another message from David.  He said that he was on his way home and got another message from Jasmine's oncologist.  She said they were going to keep her  chemo treatment as scheduled and that she talked to the oncologist at the local hospital.  It sounded to her like Jasmine was doing well and she didn't foresee any issue with proceeding.  It's funny how quickly my day had flipped and flopped.
Now I am home with my super tired husband and my Jasmine. Poor David.  He just got off of work and had to hang out at the hospital for the day.  I at least got 4 or 5 hours sleep.  Tomorrow he had to take her up to DC.  Thankfully he would be meeting his sister at a half way point to DC. I was a little more at ease with the travel tomorrow knowing he had company.  It will be an early day tomorrow as usual for a tuesday.  Hope her count is better tomorrow.  I think it will be.  She's eating and drinking again.  She's happy to be home and so are we.